The Ending To “More Keys” Marquis – My Novel In The Works

I would like to earn some income through stories that I write soon.  I’ve had an idea of writing this fictional story since 2008. I’ve taken down notes throughout the years, but never put them all together.  The writing assignment for My 500 Words today was to write The End.  I’m keeping the promise to myself to keep writing so here is the ending to my story of a 19 year old kid named “More Keys” Marquis.

Warning: It has about two or three cuss words

8th grade, New Year’s Eve man.  My uncle told me the things that could get me in trouble as I got older. Looking back at it, it seems pretty damn obvious too.  Fast girls, drugs, and lust for cash.  He made a clear point that there was one thing that was way worse than all three and that was dumb ass friends. They’re the ones who are probably gonna mess with all three and get me in trouble even though I don’t mess with none of that.  It’s like the dudes who get caught up with conspiracy.  They probably never seen any drugs in their life, but once an undercover gets a scoop on some plan like that, they give you more time than murderers and rapists. I walked around thinking I could change these boys once I showed them life aint that bad.  It’s for damn sure a curse to have heart.  If I left on that plane that day, I wouldn’t be in this shit. But I know I would’ve felt like I abandoned my people.  How the hell can I be good when the people I was on the come up with are still stuck? Part of me wants to say they deserve it.  I tried to tell them to get right. They listened though man… until the next day they‘d be right back at it. They’re better off than me right now too. What’s up with that?

I’m just sitting here looking at my old high school football shirt wishing I could go back. I know that’s impossible. I just want something to happen already.

It’s kinda funny how sometimes you can waste a whole day worrying about something.  Every single moment you got it in the back of your mind.  You could be watching some fuckin’ stand up comedy, be in a stadium with thousands of people, but your mind is still messing with you.  You can’t shake it.  Now, when the actual thing I was fearing is happening in real time, I ain’t got a worry in the world.  I actually feel relieved.  I know I had a harder time fearing this than actually going through it.

I’m thinking about my momma. I can’t help but get tears in my eyes.  So many regrets.  Too many regrets.  She was the only one who truly loved me.  Same old story man, I treated her bad. I don’t know why? Fuck! When all these people started wanting to be close since I was making a little money, she told me what the deal was.  I told her she don’t know what the hell she was talking about.  I hope I didn’t make you feel too bad momma.  I’m sorry.

I hear them pulling up the drive way.  You with me right God?  This is it. As I hear the front door open, I close my eyes, tears down my cheek, feeling calm as ever. I start seeing the first day I took a breathe in this world, but I’m not really sure I know all of these people….

I feel a gun on my temple.

I know it seems a little dark, but that’s not exactly how I want the whole book to be.  I just feel like it would be a good ending because even though people are funny, caring, or even church going, life is CRAZY.

Let me know what you think.


4 Responses to The Ending To “More Keys” Marquis – My Novel In The Works

  1. avid210 . says:

    Man I was really getting into it…u should keep critique if I can..sometimes when u mention a thought it feels like u kind of repeat it again instead of just going on with it…the writing before that usually leads the reader into the fact that you’re starting a thought or flashback…but either way awesomel interested in reading more.

  2. avid210 . says:


  3. jayonpark says:

    Thanks Avid. Truly appreciate you’re feedback brother.
    jayonpark recently posted…The Ending To “More Keys” Marquis – My Novel In The WorksMy Profile

  4. Mike Huiwitz says:

    So how’s the novel going now?
    Mike Huiwitz recently posted…The Revelation EffectMy Profile

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